Just Another Perv

My story begins Monday afternoon on Rothschild Blvd... as I am walking I see this AMAZING guy sitting on the bench, exactly my type - tall, blond, not too thin, nice smile... and wearing shoes that imply that he is straight (ugly shoes) he is reading the newspaper and then he sees me and folds the paper, I think he was waiting for a blind date and may have thought it was me... anyways, I pass by him and I think to myself "stupid stupid - why didn't you drop your bag on the ground there and then? Why didn't you say hello to him? Why didn't you at least smile... ?" Then I think to myself... "What a waste, how wonderful it could be just to bump into the man of your dreams on the street."

Dissolve into Eve - Beauty shots of stores closing and cafe's opening in TLV, gentle summery soundtrack (maybe by AIR) couples and friends walking hand in hand. Rothschild Blvd.

So I was having a coffee in the Blvd. Us Israeli's are slowly adapting a European(Italy, Spain) lifestyle here where in mid week, in the summer, we all sit in the Rothschild Blvd or at the beach and have drinks and coffee and shoot the breeze... Till very late when the weather becomes better...
So we were just walking around my friend and I, having our usual conversation "Why are Israeli men such shits...? Why aren't they able to be gentlemen? Why do all of them have mother issues? Why is it so hard to find a good man? Why am I alone... By now I am willing to settle for interesting... bla bla bla... " Then our new thing is about how feminism and feminists fucked us over, as we are all now supposed to make a lot of money, be career women and in addition to that be married and raise the kids ... HALLO!!! obviously men went along with that you stupid women!!! ... right?! DAH!!! It is like the radical Islam are willing to accept women being homicide (yes yes FOX news) bombers... jee, really, but I thought Islam hated women... well DAH?!

So we were talking about this contradiction... and how, now that we have had this epiphany, what good is our Masters degree really... and why did we even think that having a Masters degree is better than knowing how to make KUBE, if ultimately you don't feel accomplished... It is funny, she has a really great boyfriend but could agree with my on all points... she also has a Masters degree...

So as I was giving my speech, my horny, pms-ing anti feminist speech, when this guy on a Harley drives his bike onto the Blvd. and starts yelling toward me... "hey hey hey..." I was like... "who me?" and he ran to me and asked me what my name was... starts hitting on me, right there and then... asks me if I am seeing anyone... asks me for my number... (hurray) I was so shocked... thinking to myself... Oh wow... "The Secret" it is a cosmic sign... I can't believe it.... and yes, true I was thinking to myself it does seem strange that this guy really so stricken by my beauty that he drove onto the Blvd. from the road just to get my number? Am I that fabulous, that wonderful, that amazing?
I told my friend that it is hard to believe that... She said that I must believe it is possible if not she said use your "suspension of disbelief..."
So in light of the cosmic turn of events and even though he wasn't exactly my type... me as mentioned above preferring the Arian look and him being of a Middle Eastern complection... (M.E.C) despite it all, I give this guy my number... (Don't judge I said, maybe the universe has something in store for you... ) So I give him my number something I rarely do as number 1. I am paranoid and number 2. I am hardly ever asked... (Israeli men...) (but really, I need my number... and I can't have some pervert stalking me and then I will need to change my number and that will be a hassle... )

So anyways... my friend and I continue on our way... and like we say how funny life can be and also how things suddenly became so interesting... like I wanted them to be.

OK, next day, I work all day, thinking about how funny life can be and how wonderful it would be if I could just bump into the man of my dreams in the street, how the blond guy may have been a lesson for the M.E.C guy... hey, after all, I guess this is worth exploring at least for a coffee... and then I start wondering if he will call... but then I remember "The Rules" and I stay busy and try not to think about it...

Come 10-ish at night the phone rings, I answer it, (by the way, this was my 1st mistake... never answer the phone from people you don't know after 8pm... ) and it is M.E.C guy on the phone...

I look at the clock... I have ten minutes to talk... ("The Rules" again) we start to chat and he seems okay... he is doing his reserve service and calling me while on the watch tower... I asked him "isn't that dangerous?" he goes... "Na....." 3 minutes go by, we have gone through the niceties of where are you from... what do you do... bla bla bla... 4 minutes go by he asked me what I am wearing... I'm like "what?!" but I thoughts maybe it is a joke, and I dont want to dismiss this guy over a joke... hey, my situation isnt that great and if I dont get a move on I will end up alone and as I am allergic to pets (new thing) they wont even be able to eat my body and it will rot on y expensive coach.... Then he's like... "send me a picture of you to my phone..." Now I understand it wasnt a joke... followed by the ever so elegant... "send me a picture of your ass...." I hung up the phone... 5 min gone by... Makes me realize maybe the army should invest in Wireless internet...

What the hell?! isn't it clear that that I am not a pro?! Who the hell does meet random guys on the street and the next day provide them services on the phone and at the rate of a regular call?! I maybe stupid in life but thankfully smarter in business... it dont make good business sense...

Seriously people, am I missing something? Is this how relationships go? Have I bought into the Hollywood BS again? Do they edit these parts out of movies? WHAT?!
You see, also, the problem is that had I not given this guy my number I would be judged as not wanting to take the plunge into relationships and "if you take chances you can get hurt..." whatever...
I wish I could have cursed him... Why didn't I wish Fatma commit suicide and explode under his tower?!
Feeling filthy and disgusting... I took a shower watched some TV and went to sleep...

Had this been the 1st time this has happened to me I would have been "wow... how shocking..." But seeing as this type of thing happens to me more than people may hope to believe.. I am like... "what am I doing wrong?!" I start missing the random comments about being fat (the ones that made me hate M.E.C guys to begin with... ) as they seem much nicer than this ongoing treatment as a fucking circus sex freak...

I ask again, why is it so so difficult to find a good man? I only need one! (maybe two...)

So you see, it has come to my attention that he may be a pervert, but I am a perversion... In Israeli society today... I am a perversion... Just another Perv...