Ok, so I was looking at my blog yesterday... a bit sad that I had nothing to write about... I knew something would come along... so...
Yesterday I go to some house warming shindig at a friends of a friends... and, well, the girl has 2 kitchens in her house, one is for cooking etc., and the other is for showing... Hey, I am not even going to touch that with a ten foot poll... Anywho... so... I go, and I hadn't eating all day, so I was very hungry, but, my friend, made me a drink, and before I could say nasdrovia, I was tipsy... But whatever, and I was drunk and whatever... nothing to write home about.
Then, at a certain point, enters this guy, either gay, or perhaps just a man who likes to wear jewelry... (later I discover he makes crap ass jewels... he is jeweler… I suppose… tzoref?! )
So, he comes in with sushi he made... and wasabi in a bag, and I could give a shit, and really, I didn't even notice him or anybody else at the party, because, there was a very sweet baby there, and he was so cute, and I could give a shit about the rest...
Between the burekas, the two kitchens, and the cheep alcohol, I realized I could care less...
but, whatevs... this isn't the point.
So what is the point? Well, I am happy you asked. So, I call this friend of a friend up today, on the way to see "CRASH", actually, not a bad film at all. I liked… except for one bit that angered me greatly, but whatever, again, not the point… So I call the friend of the friend, and I tell her, how nice it was for me that she invited me... bla bla bla... (all this bad Australian upbringing), congratulations etc., on her new home...
Then she goes, and I am quoting, as much as I can whilst translating : "You know, last night, after everybody left, I was sitting with Moti (jewelry/sushi guy) and he told me that he thinks that YOU (meaning me) will have a really hard time finding a guy. " WTF!@#$^*)(*^_)*(&_)(*&)*&% (I did not come here to insulted.)
And I go "eh? Why would he do me such a manhus? (meaning, bad luck) and I suck so much, because, this is the point where I should have just gone on the assult, attacked and fucking smashed into her, and him and the rest of the fucking world... instead of eating my heart out later... wishing I had a joint, or any thing else to help me deal with teh stupidy, taktlesness, and just disgusting human nature... anywho...
So she goes: "He said that you will have a really hard time finding a guy because..." (you're going to love this) "you project that you are smart, and a guy like him (Moti) would even be intimidated approaching you." (by the way… I was drunken stupid, but that is besides the point…) She told me he heard me talking about music (the black eyed peas) and also other stuff… and he understood two things :
Number one: She is smart.
Number two : She will have a hard time finding a man.
So, from the generosity of his heart, he is willing ot go out with me. Maybe, because of the above reasons, and also, I am likehis first wife... You know, because he is not afraid…
I almost crashed into the car in front of me... Thank you Lord for saving me... finnaly, I will not die alone in my new cool apartment... the neighbours only knowing I am gone, only after the smell hits the hallway!!!
So then she tells me that she was wondering if she could set me up with him? She told him she would ask me if I was interested...
Interested in a 41 year old divorced gay man with 2 daughters and a fucking attitude.
Please sir, may I have some more? Yes Please!!! MMM, I can't believe it's not butter. Hmmm… You know what, I would rather be analy probed by aliens that will shove burekas up my ass, and suck out my brian through my nostrils, and feed it to their dogs, that sit in a room, let alone... ewww... with him, or his friends, or any people he assosicate with, or actually, also this friend of a friend... whom I finally realized, I could never ever be friends with... because, as opposed to me... she will not find it difficult to find a man, because, truthfully, she is a stupid cow...
Am I missing anything?
Naturally, because i suck... I didn't say anything. I am a woose. Do you think, if I cut my toungue out, maybe it would be the same?
6 comments:
No, you do not suck, you, unlike these two miserable asses, was not brought up to think that every stupid thing that crosses your F-ing stupid mind is poetry to share with the whole world.
Christ, when will people learn to put a lid on it? And I do mean their whole face...
This dickless dude for sure will find it hard to get a gal to hang out with him as unlike you he is AS DUMB AS A DOG.
So I say, let us put him behind us (put the car on reverse, and hit the gas...).
I think you are glorious, and any guy who does not clearly see it is either blind, or an idiot, or gay, or too self centred to see anything at all. Or all of the abave.
Yeah!
im sorry to say that your tale of misery and intrigue cracked me up so hard, i am still laughing. and I quote: 'intereste in a 41 year old gay man with two daughters and a fucking attitude'. lol lol lol.
now, i have said this in the past and i will say it again, with the exception of our father, our brother and possibly a couple of other saints, israeli men SUCK!
this moti seems to me to be only a level 3 jerk in the scale of impotent gay looser misogynist israeli men. he is also still using old levant haggling tricks, which means he has not advanced into start-up bubble mode. i will clarify with the following citation from life of bria: 'no no you gotta haggle'. think of the way mum haggles over a little persian rug: first, she sniffs it out. then, she makes a face. then when the salesman approaches and asks if she is interested, she makes a point of making sure he knows she knows the rug is a Tahat Shel Gamal (the ass of a camel), totally unworthy of even spitting on, let alone actually paying anything from. So, the salesman goes, 'no no! its a good rug, look at the fine workmanship'. to which mum answers 'CChhhhhhhhh'. Now that mum has established the rug sucks and she thinks nothing of the salesman either, the haggling can begin. 'ten for that you must be mad'. Hi-tech mysoginist jerks are level 2, which makes them much more sophisticated. but this is another story. the point is, israeli men on the whole are all screwed up by having been in the army. they have this whole hostile attitude to women, which if you would have watched Munich closely, you would have picked up on. No where in the world for example would a straigt man tell a woman, any woman, that he is not attracted to her. normal, straight men want to fuck all women. they look at all women and find fuckable things about each and every one. now, with some they dont want to stay, which is another matter. but with israeli men, they are threatened by female sexuality. the reason or the result is that most are gay or importent or both. and if they arent they are various levels of jerks. (but they can be gay and impotent and jerks at the same time too). how do i know this? because i dated some. they are freakishly different from normal men.
trust me on that.
this moti guy, apart from really not being even remotely close to a catch (i dont suppose he is atleast fucking rich apart from being middle aged, divorced with kids and effeminate?). instead of striving to make themselves worthy, israeli guys pull their women down to the much with them. there is something to be said for the christian inspired dichotomy of the woman as either saint or slut. atleast there is room for both. jewish israeli women are best equated with Payla, the character from Hanoch Levins (genious) Hamitlabet.
We are neither saints nor whores, but we are not really people either. at best, we can be Golda: ugly, mean, rough and tough, but commanding the respect of the soldiers.
fuck moti and his kind. dont sweat it buba. your head and heart are in the right place.
Wow, people are so horrible. You SHOULD prefer aliens.
but i think the most disgusting person in this scenario is this house-warming cow, who has zero critical faculties, who sees herself as merely a messenger when in fact she is the medium of vulgarity.
would it have cost her anything to simply say 'moti said you he thought you were smart and wants to go out with you, can i give him your number?' or heaven forbid, when tal called to say thank you, she could have said 'yeah, you should come over again sometime - how about next sunday?'...then she could invite this moti dude also and do matchmaking the polite, socially vitalising way. but no, why do things with a little tact and style if we can all be dragged down to the same muck? all of us too smart to be loved, too loved to be smart, too sexy to be attractive, too attractive to be sexy... what better way to make a match but insult people who just called to thank you for inviting them to your home? this moti dude is not really to blame - he is an israeli jerk, but its not entirely his fault that he is 41 and divorced with two kids. i mean, how much can you change that? he can grow older, be married for the second time and have more kids...but he isnt going to be younger or with less life experience...but being polite or considerate is certainly something that people can try on for size once in a while. i say blame the messenger. she is a bitch.
Hallo Buba!
I come all the time and you never write a new post?!
Some people here in the Gola have no other way to get some info on thee!
Kisses,
Adi.
i second that motion
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