The Summer of Tal

After several days of intensive and un-gratifying editing work that I am of ocurse thankful for etc... I realised that everything will be okay... at least for today...
Truthfully, a certain change came about in my disposition when somebody told me a couple of days ago that the shit that went down at university with me, actually happened to another person... that for me meant... this was a policy, and so it helps me feel like my integrity, my actions, the seriousness of my intentions as far as my film were concerned were not crap, and that the university had made it its policy so they had decided to not make the film happen, and actually aparentlyI got the polite version apparently of the it's not going to happen... ironically... they didn't tell me no... they just wouldn't give me a fucking answer... I can't believe this shit... they really are disgusting... the thing was that I was feeling like a complete failure because it was as if I wasn't fighting hard enough, I didn't want it to happen... some psyco babble ...
Anywho... so as I heard that, and after this intensive work with OCBD people, that actually have a completely different taste than mine, I decided to let it go and move on... I just have to finish the paper, I am hoping to do so in the following week... then complete everything... and move on with my life... must find new work, new teaching position, new projects... NEW...

Meanwhile... I have vowed to make this "The Summer of Tal" where I will find love, find work, leave the house more, maybe via a fucking laptop that will enable to do my shit outside my safe room, and I am not kidding, the computer is in the bomb shelter... and go to the beach... Or something like that... Also, we are planning, a friend and I to do a podcast...

Yesterday I went to sit at the beach in the afternoon with a friend, I drank a diet coke, we had the first watermelon of the season... it was just grand... so, also I have vowed that when I can, if I am at home in the afternoon hours, I will go sit at the beach, music, a drink, something to read... why should other people enjoy life, and me... well... suffer through it... especially since, I don't even want to be down, and I don't think I am even depressed... I guess this is all the result of the 30th anniversary hysterics... I am approaching fast...

Meanwhile, I ask of the kind people of the world wide interweb to pray for me to get a cool jobby job, many editing projects, and also, that things will work out good for me in all other matters... vsv husband and puppies and yes... money... well... money...

Tof, I have to go to work now...
Peace out